HTDWT – Chapter 31

Chapter 31 – Untraceable Past

It was easy to sober up from the cold.

Standing under the warm yellow lights that permeated the night, Xu Bai Chuan recalled those seven years. Running about in circles for Tang Jin was fine, being subjected to ridicule and putting on an act was also fine…Those were merely words he said in the spur of the moment when venting his anger. Rationally, he was clear that he had run amok all by himself. Only the words he spoke just before he left truly came from his heart: Tang Jin’s fine the way he is. He can be gentle to the person he likes. But since that person isn’t him, Xu Bai Chuan couldn’t feel any sense of privilege.

Xu Bai Chuan has seen how Tang Jin is when he likes someone. Perhaps Tang Jin has yet to come to his senses, but it was impossible for him not to his entire life. Since he wholeheartedly liked Tang Jin, he would eliminate the very thing which caused Tang Jin to lose his sense of reason, even if it was somewhat cruel to himself.

That being said, why should he demand Tang Jin to like him? Because of his investment? Did anyone ever ask him to invest anything? No, he was perfectly happy to do so. Though instead of getting returns, he received a proper punishment for his pestering.

Once a taxi stopped in front of the hotel, Xu Bai Chuan opened the car door and went in.
When the night lights reflected on the car window and momentarily blinded him, another car drove past in the opposite direction. Song Yi Yu was seated at the back making calls that didn’t go through and kept going to voicemail. He felt endless regret— He never should have left. Whether it was this time, or seven years ago, he never should have left.

After hurriedly closing the car door behind him, Song Yi Yu ran the whole way to the hotel. The corner elevator was stopped at the 21st floor and as if something was pursuing him from behind, he ceaselessly pressed the ↑ button.

After staying in the hospital for three days, Tang Jin insisted on leaving on the fourth day. Due to family matters, Song Yi Yu temporarily returned to B city. After everything was dealt with, he didn’t know why he suddenly felt rattled. Hence despite his original plan of returning to H city the next day, he couldn’t wait any longer and booked the next flight. Nowadays, the feeling of trepidation has already spread like a prairie fire. He knew that the thing constantly chasing him was time, or better yet, opportunity.

He had already missed opportunity after opportunity before suddenly realizing that it was already too late for regrets.

The elevator today was especially slow as it stopped at almost every floor. When he finally arrived outside Tang Jin’s room, seven minutes had already passed.

Seven years. Seven minutes. It was like an inescapable fate.

After calming himself down as much as possible, Song Yi Yu raised a hand to knock on the door. The door sprung open just after three knocks. The moment his eyes landed on him, the light in Tang Jin’s eyes extinguished. Song Yi Yu’s heart felt blocked and an indescribable bitterness emerged.

“Why did you come here?” asked Tang Jin.

Song Yi Yu forced a smile. “To see you.”

Xu Bai Chuan’s voice was still echoing inside his mind. Tang Jin’s heart was certain: ‘Xu Bai Chuan, you’re wrong. The one I like isn’t Song Yi Yu.’

Tang Jin stood at the entrance, showing no signs of letting Song Yi Yu inside. He said, “I’m fine, do you have any other business?”

Song Yi Yu already had the urge to turn around. He knew that Tang Jin might get angry if he continued to speak, but he had already walked away too many times. If he walks away again, everything will end.

Biting the bullet, he was resolved to risk everything. He no longer wanted to deceive himself and others, no longer wanted to pretend that he didn’t care. Staking everything, he threw away his reserved and tentative nature, suddenly took a step forward and raised a hand to press onto Tang Jin’s waist. He suggestively asked, “Not letting me in?”

The hand that plays the violin was currently moving downward from Tang Jin’s waist. Alarmed, Tang immediately captured Song Yi Yu’s wrist and uncertainly asked, “What are you doing?”

Song Yi Yu’s heart leaped forward. He pushed Tang Jin back a couple of steps, shut the door with his elbow, then threw his whole body onto Tang Jin. His other hand covered the area between Tang Jin’s legs.

Before any further action could be taken, he was pushed away by a strong force the next second. Since Tang Jin spared no energy in the shove, Song Yi Yu bumped against the door with a bang and his fluffy hair, now disheveled, fell in front of his eyes. Right afterward, a voice full of stifled anger sounded. “Are you crazy!”

Just as if he had been slapped, Song Yi Yu’s face burned. He asked himself over and over again: ‘Is this enough? What else do you want?’ The answer was no, it wasn’t enough. There were still many things he wanted. He wanted to return with Tang Jin to that time of youthful ignorance seven years ago when things were pure and beautiful.

These hopes have already worn out over and over again after seven years of Tang Jin’s perfunctory evasion. He didn’t know when Tang Jin stopped contacting him. Afterward, he knew that there was another person at Tang Jin’s side and also heard Tang Jin say Xu Bai Chuan’s name in a tone of feigned dislike more and more often. They had never started, let alone ended. With the passage of time, their blazing longing simply transformed into greetings and banter between friends, both with a mutual understanding of where things stood.

“Why?! Don’t you like me Tang Jin!?” Song Yi Yu seized onto that tiny spark inside his heart. Rather than asking Tang Jin, it was more like he was asking himself, only that he didn’t want to receive an answer.

Tang Jin was unwavering. “The one I like is Xu Bai Chuan.”

The three characters Xu Bai Chuan pierced into Song Yi Yu. After he returned to the country, he used all kinds of excuses to invite Tang Jin out, even having their mutual friends organize events where Tang Jin would be present. In the past, there were countless times when he had jokingly inquired about Xu Bai Chuan’s position in Tang Jin’s heart but never overdid it to avoid Tang Jin saying these words at his face at all costs. Because as long as the dust had yet to settle, nothing was certain.

He never imagined that it would still be said aloud.

“Xu Bai Chuan?” Song Yi Yu let out a “ha”. “Do you know that the Xu Bai Chuan you like sent us a present wishing us eternal love?”

Suddenly recalling the present that Xu Bai Chuan said he’ll definitely like three months ago, Tang Jin’s face hardened.

Song Yi Yu clearly saw those subtle changes. He finally received the answer he had feared for the longest time.

He was used to everyone’s attention on him and being the bright moon that stars twinkled around. Thus, he had never lost face or been in such a damned state until now. Being shunned away by Tang Jin like this, a hatred welled up inside him, and his words transformed into a sharp blade which hurt others and himself. “Yes, I called him.” He shed the image of a graceful prince. “I told him that we were together. Do you know what he said? He wished us a long and happy life together!”

“You like him, but he couldn’t wait to rid himself of you!”

“You drank because of him until your stomach bled. He didn’t even come to see you, I was the one who stayed by your side!”

“Only I…”

Tang Jin bellowed, “Enough!” When he walked over, Song Yi Yu immediately stopped speaking and held his breath.

“Stay here if you want, I’ll go.” Tang Jin brushed him aside and left.

Hearing the footsteps that gradually went further away, Song Yi Yu lost his strength and leaned backward. The door closed once again. After a long time, his hands covered his eyes and he slowly slid down to the ground.

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5 thoughts on “HTDWT – Chapter 31

  1. I don’t actually dislike Song Yi Yu. (But I still give him the side-eye for calling Madam Tang which made Xiaoxu lose his job.) He was merely a person in love who lost to opportunity.
    Nevertheless here’s a diss from a Chinese commenter: You accompanied TJ this one time when his stomach bled, but XBC was by his side for seven years. Who knows how many times he stayed by his side when he was sick.

    Liked by 8 people

    1. go on, regret all you want. but the pain you caused bai chuan for the past 7 years will never heal. sure, they might close up but 7 adult years wasted solely for an indecisive and ungrateful bastard? no one will ever forget that.

      i dont have that strong of an emotion towards songyiyu, but he was only there for him for 3 months. bai chuan has been with him for 7 horrendous years, suffering. he didn’t have parents to care for him, no friends to support him, he had someone to love but no one to love him and not to mention that when bai chuan was bootlicking, bowing down, getting stepped on, humiliated, worshipped, obsessed and loved for tang jin, tang jin was disgusted. annoyed and even mocked him.

      ikt love makes you do crazy things but i can’t believe he actually brushed off 7 full years of a humans suffering just because he was sad for 3 months? song yiyu had everything except for a man’s love, bai chuan had nothing, not even himself.


  2. XYZ

    Nah, can’t like anyone who schemes that much.. I know he feels regret but he had his chances. Pulling tricks to separate the two now has no excuses. Still, hope he gets his happy ending too.

    TY 4 TL ♥️ and stay safe yall

    Liked by 4 people

  3. fatcouchpotato

    SYY isn’t necessarily bad. He just lost his chance at love. Yes he schemes. But it’s just his way of getting what he wants. I mean when our MC does it, it seems fine but when the other character does it, he becomes the Villain. So I don’t hate him. I pity him.
    And right now I just really want CX to end up with XBC, because I feel that, that would be a better pair.

    TJ can go with SYY.
    All happy.


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